How to Feel Better :)

“Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” ~Abraham Lincoln

There are times in life when things don’t go as expected. Perhaps an important project of yours ended up in failure. Or you got laid off from your job. Whatever it is, it might make you depressed. But you need to get things back under control. You need to keep moving forward. For that, you need to make yourself feel better so that you can face the situation with a positive attitude.

Here are some tips to make yourself feel better when you’re depressed:

1. Calm down

Before anything else, calm yourself down. Don’t panic. Close your eyes and take a deep breath. You can only apply the tips below if you are calm.

2. Feed your mind with positive thoughts

When you’re depressed, it’s easy to fall into a vicious cycle of negative thoughts. The negative cycle makes things look worse than they actually are. It’s important that you break this cycle so that you don’t become a victim of your own thoughts.

To do that, feed your mind with positive thoughts. You may read spiritual texts, motivational books, or inspiring quotes. You may also listen to positive tapes. Listening works well when you’re overwhelmed with negative thoughts because it doesn’t require your active participation.

3. Remember good things

Our minds tend to focus on the negative and not the positive. But you should direct your mind to the positive. Remember the good things in your life.

Remember the good people around you. I’m sure there are many more things that go right in your life than those that go wrong. Looking at the good things balances your perspective so that you don’t dwell in negativity.

4. Look at the big picture

An event that seems bad might not seem that bad if you look at the big picture. Put the event in context. Think of it as one mosaic piece that’s necessary to make your life wonderful.

5. Believe that everything will be all right

What you believe has a big effect on you. If you believe that things will go wrong, that would usually be the case. On the other hand, if you believe that everything will be all right, you will have a winning attitude. And, as said in this article, a winning attitude is everything.

6. Exercise

When you’re depressed, take time to exercise. Study shows that “exercise is related to positive mental health as indicated by relief in symptoms of depression and anxiety.”

7. Forgive

Sometimes one reason you feel bad is because you don’t forgive. Perhaps you had made mistakes in the past and you blamed yourself for it. You need to forgive yourself. Or perhaps someone mistreated you. You need to forgive them.

I know it’s easier said than done, but as Mahatma Gandhi said: The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. So let us all be strong.

8. Take action

The only cure for grief is action. George Henry Lewes

Things won’t get better if you just sit and do nothing. Instead of thinking about how bad things are, think of what you can do to solve the problem and take action.

9. Say something positive

Negative words have devastating effect on your confidence and motivation. So whenever you’re about to say something negative, stop yourself and take a deep breath. Reframe what you’re going to say and make it positive. For example, instead of saying “I will never make it”, say “It won’t be easy, but I know I will make it.”

10. Think about other people

One of the best ways to make yourself feel better is simply by taking the focus away from yourself. The more you think about your problems, the more difficult it would feel. So start thinking about other people and how you can help them.

When you do that, your problems will no longer seem so hard.

[From : Life Optimizer]

What They’re Listening For

By Brendon Burchard
Founder, Experts Academy,and author of Life’s Golden Ticket

When people talk about “voice” you often hear them refering to someone having “found their voice,” as if were previously lost.

What they usually mean is that someone (a) found out what was important to them in life and (b) finally began speaking out for it.

What’s interesting to me is that people are clearly LISTENING to you right now — they are listening to your VOICE and what’s important to you.

And what they hear often dictates whether they believe you, follow you, love you, or pay attention to you.

I think people are listening to three things when they hear you speak:

1. HOW you sound.

2. WHAT you say.

3. WHY you say what you say and sound how you sound.

Let’s talk about each of these so that when you do “find your voice” and speak out for what you believe in you’ll be able to have the impact and influence with others that you desire.

– HOW YOU SOUND —

Does the sound of your voice betray you?

Does your voice help you or hinder your success?

Whether you’re aware of it or not the sound of your voice is controlling your success or failure with every word you pronounce.

With each word the sound of your voice is either attracting or dissuading those that hear your message.

You’re either bringing them closer or pushing them away.

If you have a voice of a leader you’re always attracting others because of the strength and kindness and enthusiasm in your voice.

Your clear and compassionate tone resonates in their hearts and minds.

This “tone” can only happen if you believe in yourself and your message. When that happens, your voice rarely betrays you.

You never hear the high pitched” little girl” or “little boy” voice that comes out under stress.

You don’t speak to fast or to slow – and you never run out of breathe. You get to be you – the best part of you.

Now, you may recognize a few of the following names:

Arnold Schwarzenegger, Angelina Jolie, Sean Connery, Pierce Brosnan, Magic Johnson, Emmit Smith, Pat Riley, Albert Finney.

When these people needed to sound their best they turned to vocal coach Arthur Joseph.

Arthur coached all of these people to have the distinctive voices we all instantly recognize today. He can do the same for you.

The same principles that worked for Arnold and Angelina will work for you.

– WHAT YOU SAY –

Is the content of what you’re saying typically positive or negative?

Do your words tend to support others or discount them?

Are your statements complete and transparent or short and aloof?

The answers to these questions often reveal if people see you as good natured, kind, intelligent and trustworthy.

The content is important and most people need to pay much, much more attention to what they say — about themselves, about others, about the world.

So here’s a challenge. Start listening to the words you’re speaking and start listening to what those words are saying about you as a person, as a leader, and as a lover.

You might be surprised by how much what you say really does say about you as a person.

– Why You Say What You Say and Sound How You Sound –

When people are listening to you communicate, they’re often listening less to what you say and how you sound than to WHY they think you are saying what you are saying.

In other words, they’re listening and paying close attention to your INTENT.

They’re thinking, “Yeah I hear what this person is saying, but why are they saying it? What’s their real goal here? What’s their agenda?”

This is important because most people have lost sight of why they are speaking in the first place. They ramble on and on, or they get off topic, or they interrupt others — all this conveys to others that this person doesn’t care about their listeners.

Here’s the big idea: In your mind, start stating a VERY POSITVE goal for WHY you are speaking with someone.

For example, before you talk with your child or your spouse or your cowoker, think, “I deeply care for this person. How I sound and what I say will all be aligned to show that I truly love this person.”

This really comes in handy when you’re in conflict. Reminding yourself that you care for someone and living with that intent helps you speak and sound much more caring and present.

Your intention for others shines through in everything you say and do. It certainly shows up in your tone and your nonverbal communication. So why not be purposeful with that intent? Start setting the intention that you’ll love and honor those you get to speak to in life.

Who knows, people might start saying really nice things about you.

I hope these quick lessons — focus on how you sound, what you say, and why you are speaking — serve you in connecting with others.

With love,

– Brendon Burchard
Author, Life’s Golden Ticket

Some Note

In the world there are three kinds of people. Music people, lyric people and those in between!

Music people don`t care about the lyric and meaning in the song. All they need is a good beat so they can dance to it. Music people are the uncomplicated souls in the world. They are blissfully stupid, but also the most fun to be around.

Lyric people on the other hand are much more complicated… They really interpreted the meaning of the song. They kind of don`t notice the rhythm, but concentrate on the words. Lyric people are smart, they tend to be analytical.

The last group are the people in between. The people who kind of enjoy both sides of the music, the beat AND the lyric. They might not be real clever or super fun to be around, but they are definitely the most soul full!

Catatan Kecil dari Buku tentang SoftSkills

(Leader of Astra International-18years : : Ir.Dipl.Ing.Palgunadi T Setiawan)

 

☺manageable change : vision,destiny > need skill> drive.motivation

☺manage self and resource > activity plan with priority

☺combine low-profile with strong willing.

☺problem? > search the solution !

☺make decision : create options > analyze condition > take consequence > pray,then follow.

☺to reach or done something : as smart as it can > open mind > hold the essence > guide by princip > other is means.

☺good life : flexible > keep vision > allignment and adaptation > make add value  > do and improve(kaizen).

☺so, stay alert > do the best in think and act.

 

+let go the past and meet the future : with anthuciasm,self comfort,in body and soul+

Become More Attractive

(Hei, Ayo Baca, Selagi Berkunjung ^^)

When people think of the concept of how to be a more attractive person, most people will, on first thoughts, equate attraction to physical appearance. However, being attractive is not really that simple.

Take the celebrity world, for example. No doubt we’ll have all had debates with friends about which celebrities are attractive and most of the time, people will come up with very different opinions. When we’re making these judgements, our opinions are superficially made solely on the celebrity’s physical appearance or, at best, on the physical appearance plus what bit of information we have gleaned from interviews we may have seen of them.

To an extent, this is initially how most of us will often form judgements about attraction in our everyday lives. We’ll ‘like the look’ of somebody. It might be their facial features, their hair, the way they’re dressed but, more often than not, these initial observations are pretty superficial.

In the ‘real world’ most of us will also accept that once you get to know a person better, there has to be much more beneath the superficial ‘façade’ of a person, if we’re going to ultimately think of them as being attractive.

How to be a more attractive person, therefore, is not just about looks. Granted, paying attention to how you look and trying to make the most of yourself will serve you well but there are many other aspects to attraction that you need to be aware of.

Confidence

How to be a more attractive person often starts with displaying confidence. People naturally gravitate towards those who feel comfortable with themselves, know who they are and like themselves. This doesn’t mean being arrogant or big headed. Confidence is exuded in the way in which people engage with others in a positive fashion.

If a person is lacking in confidence and is constantly putting themselves down, this can become tiresome to others and will lessen their appeal. Therefore, try to tap into those things in your life which tend to make you feel confident about yourself.

Define what you have to offer others. Once you’ve identified those areas which make you unique, interesting and which give you a sense of feeling worthwhile with something to offer the world and other people, others will sense this. You’ll be more attractive and others will be drawn towards trying to get to know you better.

Passion

Attractive qualities in people are often tied into passion. If your life has meaning and a purpose as opposed to simply allowing yourself to become a ‘drifter’, it’s far more attractive to others. So, whether it’s your career, a hobby or something else that fires your passion, doing things that give you happiness and joy will make you come across as a far more attractive person.

Communication

How to be a more attractive person is almost impossible if your communication skills are poor. Good conversationalists don’t need to be extroverts. However, by sharing your passions with others and, even more importantly, being a good listener and showing a genuine interest in what others have to say, this is a great way to be more attractive. Effective listening skills can never be underestimated when it comes to how to be a more attractive person.

Having a Positive Outlook On Life

A smile costs nothing and will usually always brighten up someone’s day. So, taking that further into having a positive outlook on life even when things may not always be going your way is important if you want to become attractive. It can be emotionally draining to sit and listen to people who drone on and on about the problems they’re having or those who are plain doom mongers. It’s certainly true that the energy you put out in life is the energy you get back. Take a look around you next time you’re out. You’ll often see miserable people congregating together whilst in the other corner, people will be all laughing and joking. Then ask yourself… in which group would you like to be? In other words, how to be a more attractive person relies upon you having a positive attitude to life.

Therefore, whilst it’s important to make the best of ourselves in terms of how we look in order that we feel good about ourselves, remember that to be attractive takes far more than that but it is something we can all achieve if we put our minds to it.

(dari : suatu tempat di web, hoho :-] )

Order of the Phoenix : some lessons.

(kamu males baca ini? copy aja dulu, ntar baru kamu baca kalo lagi mood)

Para pengunjung situs saya yang secara kebetulan membaca sepotong tulisan ini, saya percaya bahwasannya anda setidaknya sudah pernah melihat atau mendengar kata-kata ‘order of the phoenix’. Apakah itu? Yap benar, buku jilid ke-5 dari sevenlogy(??) Harry Potter, sebuah ceritera yang telah melanglang buana ke seluruh pelosok dunia. Dan, jikalau saudara sudah pernah membaca bukunya secara skimming atau scanning, membuat rangkumannya, atau menggambar mindmap jalan ceritanya, atau.. terserah saudara, tapi bukan ini maksud saya. Nah lo?

Oh ya maaf, poinnya di sini, apa yang ingin saya sampaikan adalah suatu pelajaran yang cukup bagus dari petualangan menantang sang Harry, dalam episode kali ini, dihadapkan pada situasi yang memaksanya bersilaturahim dengan para pelahap maut, pelayan setia saudara-saya-gak-mau-nulis-namanya-di sini (oh kepanjangan ya), maksudnya lo-tau-kan-siapa. Yang ternyata, pertarungan sporadis ini membawanya pada kenyataan menyakitkan bahwa ayah angkatnya-sirius black wafat dengan cara yang tidak keren. Coba baca:

 

“Sirius mengelak dari pancaran sinar merah Bellatrix: dia menertawai Bellatrix. ‘Ayolah, kamu bisa melakukan lebih baik dari itu!’ dia berteriak, suaranya menggema di sekitar ruangan besar itu.

Pancaran sinar kedua mengenainya tepat di dada. Tawa belum menghilang dari wajahnya, tetapi matanya melebar karena terguncang. Kelihatannya Sirius butuh waktu yang sangat lama untuk jatuh: tubuhnya melengkung dengan anggun selagi dia merosot ke belakang melalui tudung compang-camping yang tergantung di atap melengkung itu.

Harry melihat tampak ketakutan bercampur terkejut di wajah ayah angkatnya yang lelah, yang dulu tampan ketika dia jatuh melewati ambang pintu kuno itu dan menghilang ke belakang tudung, yang berkibar sejenak seolah-olah dalam angin kencang, lalu kembali ke tempatnya.”

 

 Iya kan? Masa cuma gara-gara ‘pancaran sinar kedua’ si sirius langsung tepar, kurang elegan dong. Tapi ga apa-apa saudaraku, ini bukan poin utamanya, wah-wah sabar dulu sabar. Setelah peristiwa menggetarkan ini, Harry segera mengadakan pertemuan darurat dengan Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore alias Albus Dumbledore. Dan inilah bagian yang menariknya, cukup menyentuh, karena di sini dihadirkan situasi penuh emosi. Oke-oke, supaya lebih singkat, saya kopi dialognya aja nih:

 

“’Lima tahun yang lalu,’ lanjut Dumbledore, seolah-olah dia belum berhenti dari ceritanya, ‘kamu tiba di Hogwarts, tidak sebahagia maupun sesehat yang kuinginkan, mungkin, namun hidup dan sehat. Kamu bukan pangeran kecil yang dimanjakan, melainkan anak laki-laki normal seperti yang bisa kuharapkan pada keadaan-keadaan tertentu. Maka sejauh itu, rencanaku berjalan lancar.

‘Dan kemudian … well, kamu akan ingat kejadian-kejadian di tahun pertamamu di Hogwarts sama jelasnya seperti aku. Kamu bangkit dengan menakjubkan terhadap tantangan yang menghadangmu dan lebih cepat — jauh lebih cepat — daripada yang kusangka, kamu menemukan dirimu berhadapan dengan Voldemort. Kamu selamat lagi. Kamu melakukan lebih banyak. Kamu menunda kembalinya dia pada kekuasaan dan kekuatan penuh. Kamu bertarung pada pertarungan seorang laki-laki. Aku … lebih bangga kepadamu daripada yang bisa kukatakan.’

 ’Namun ada cacat di rencanaku yang hebat ini,’ kata Dumbledore. ‘Cacat yang jelas yang aku tahu, bahkan saat itu, mungkin menjadi penyebab kegagalan semuanya. Dan walau begitu, mengetahui betapa pentingnya rencanaku harus berhasil, aku memberi tahu diriku sendiri bahwa aku tidak akan mengizinkan cacat ini merusaknya. Aku sendiri bisa menghindarkan ini, jadi aku sendiri harus kuat. Dan di sinilah ujian pertamaku, ketika kamu berbaring di sayap rumah sakit, lemah dari perjuanganmu dengan Voldemort.’

‘Saya tidak mengerti apa yang sedang Anda katakan,’ kata Harry.”

 

Dalam dialog ini, Mr.Dumbledore berusaha dengan jelas memberikan pengertian kepada Harry, mengenai intisari dari perencanaan yang disusun sebaik mungkin untuk membuahkan solusi nyata terhadap problem yang sedang dihadapi oleh dunia sihir. Tentu saja, Harry sebagai pionir utama merupakan bagian terpenting dari masterplan ini, dimana seluruh faktor penyebab dari segala sesuatu yang telah terjadi inilah yang ingin disampaikan oleh Dumbledore. Bingung ya? Saya juga.

Ga perlu bingung, terima aja dulu. Soalnya dialogna teu berhenti sampai di sini aja euy, bagian terbaiknya menurut saya adalah ini–bersiaplah, tarik nafas, lalu tahan, terus tahan, hembuskan sekarang kalo masih mau idup, kalo ga juga ga papa– (lah, ga jebo). Oh, ni baca:

 

“’Aku terlalu peduli kepadamu,’ kata Dumbledore singkat. ‘Aku lebih mempedulikan kebahagiaanmu daripada dirimu mengetahui yang sebenarnya, lebih mempedulikan ketenangan pikiranmu daripada rencanaku, lebih mempedulikan hidupmu daripada hidup orang-orang lain yang mungkin hilang kalau rencana itu gagal. Dengan kata lain, aku bertindak persis seperti yang diharapkan Voldemort, tindakan orang-orang bodoh yang mencintai.”

 

Nah pas kata-kata ini terucap dengan smooth-nya oleh satu tokoh yang digambarkan memiliki karakter yang originally wise n perfect ini, kepala sekolah sihir ternama Hogwarts, dan salah satu anggota konfederasi penyihir internasional, juga ketua pengadilan wizengamot. Betapa perihal ini tuh menyadarkan bahwa sehebat apapun sesosok Dumbledore, tetep banget kalo dia bener-bener punya dan mengutamakan yang namanya perasaan cinta dan kebahagiaan di atas segala sesuatunya. Dengan pengalaman hidup di dunia sihir yang udah terkumpul dan berbuah kebijaksanaan, dia ternyata punya pengorbanan yang begitu besar demi cinta (jaelah, romance bgt ni..).

Yah, pokoknya gitu lah pembaca sekalian intinya, setuju ato ga, yang penting setuju. Oke kan? Maka dari itu, maksud saya kita semua nih lagi sama-sama ngejalanin hidup kan, teramat baiklah sebenernya jika kita ngerti kalo dalam hidup itu pasti ada hal-hal yang selalu harus menjadi proritas kita, whatever it takes, istilahnya gitu deh. Sebagai penutupnya, satu potong dialog lagi masih dari versi yang sama, allright :

 

 “’Kurasa aku berhutang penjelasan lain kepadamu, Harry,’ kata Dumbledore dengan bimbang. ‘Kamu, mungkin, bertanya-tanya mengapa aku tak pernah memilihmu sebagai prefek? Aku harus mengaku … bahwa aku berpikir … kamu sudah punya cukup tanggung jawab.’ Harry memandang kepadanya dan melihat sebutir air mata menetes menuruni wajah Dumbledore ke dalam janggut perak panjangnya.”

 

THE END

(Tulisan ini dibuat dalam rangka memenuhi kebutuhan penulis menuangkan pikiran dan rasa yang begitu melimpah, ahaha, teima kasih kamu udah baca ini, semoga menginspirasi yap)

Cerdas : Sadar

Dalam tulisan ini, saya hanya ingin mengingatkan kepada pembaca semua tentang kehidupan ini, yang amat logis akan segera selesai pada waktunya. Jangan kita hanya fokuskan pemikiran kita pada problematika dunia, lihatlah dengan jernih hal-hal yang dapat membuat kita tersadar akan sementaranya kehidupan ini.

Karena, akal sehatlah yang dapat memberikan keseimbangan hidup antara masa kini dan masa pertanggungjawaban.

Bangunlah kecerdasan spiritual anda karena itulah yang dapat memberikan kebaikan secara proporsional. Jika hanya IQ dan EQ yang kita kembangkan, maka hidup kita akan timpang.

Dengan segala perkembangan yang sedang terjadi, alangkah baiknya jika tetap menginjakkan kaki kita di bumi dan sadar sepenuhnya untuk apa dan mengapa kita berada di sini.

Itulah kecerdasan sejati.

(ini semua adalah opini berdasar pengalaman dan pembelajaran)

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